“I’VE GOT YOUR BACK, BECCA,” one of our Shetroit sisters soothingly whispered in my ear at the wrap-up of a recent gathering of Shetroiters. That’s our affectionate nickname for the Detroit women involved in this digital media endeavor known as Shetroit.com (rhymes with Detroit, of course). Her supportive words came following a bruising critique session
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May 22, 2013“I didn’t know this was here! I never knew this Detroit existed!” 19-year-old Desmond Burkett was both shocked and delighted – with a tinge of regret as he said that. Desmond is thoughtful and outgoing but dropped out of school in 10th grade defeated and angry over the crumbling condition of his Detroit school and
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May 15, 2013NOTE: This article contains explicit and graphic material that may make some people uncomfortable. Dear Devi, Do vibrators make a woman less sensitive to touch? I’m able to orgasm really easily when I use my vibrator by myself, but I can’t have an orgasm with my partner? Does this mean that I’m addicted to
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May 8, 2013When I was young, other kids occasionally made fun of me for being short or walking differently or using a wheelchair. My mom helped me emotionally and intellectually understand a world that could be unfair and discriminatory. She always took the time to talk to me about how this made me feel, letting me cry,
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May 7, 2013 Traditional Mother’s Day has been a stick in my craw since 2004 when I discovered the true roots of the holiday. Mother’s Day began as a women’s peace movement, not as the biggest Hallmark card day of the year! Not that I don’t think mothers deserve a special day of adulation. It’s just that
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May 7, 2013My grandmother would always tell my mother, Bridget, “If you ever have a baby, I’ll kill you!” That came from a woman who was strict about the rules of her home and the expectations of our current society’s vision of what a “young lady”should be. These values rang true in everything my mother did. She
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Shetroit: Putting the ‘She’ in Detroit
Of course, it rhymes with Detroit if you pronounce it the way most of us do: DEE troyt. Shetroit puts a feminine face on a city that has always been known for its masculine energy: Motor City, Arsenal of Democracy, Hockeytown, Rock City, The Fist. All of them strong iconic male images. On the other
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The Foot-in-Your-Mouth Approach to Adoption
My mother was silent all the way through dinner. I was out with her, my stepfather and sister when I broke the news – right in the middle of the restaurant. “Joe and I have decided to adopt,” I said matter of factly. It was 2008 and Joe and I had been married for three
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Shouldn’t We Respect Pregnant Women & Their Fragile State?
Society has a problem. A major problem. Anytime news outlets and pop culture fans deem it okay to talk about pregnant women and their children in a negative way, there’s a definite issue. While perusing the internet I stumbled upon this article on the DailyMail.com. In the article the author calls out Kim Kardashian for
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Your Sensuality & Sexuality: Unveiling the Mystique of the G-Spot
NOTE: This article contains explicit and graphic material that may make some people uncomfortable. DEAR DEVI, I keep hearing people talk about “The G-Spot” in women. I can’t seem to find mine, and have no idea what I’m even looking for. Is there such a thing as a G-spot, and does every woman have
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Why Detroit and YOU Are so Much Alike
In Pune, India where I was living just a few short months ago, every well-to-do neighborhood is surrounded by a ring of slums that provides the labor to make upper-class life possible. A walk of any distance brought me into contact with children living on the streets and rag collectors going through trash piles,
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How to Be on the Ground Floor of Taking a Stand (Even When it Sucks)
I winced – even though I saw the question coming. I recently got a text from a colleague in New York asking if we could have a phone call because she had a quick question about our upcoming work retreat for our organization. I knew that she’d been searching for a place to have the
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Your Sensuality & Sexuality: What’s Your Relationship Worth?
DEAR DEVI, Everything I’ve read about Tantric sex approaches involves hours of lovemaking. With jobs, kids and everything else in life – my partner and I don’t have the luxury of lounging around like that. Is that what you’re talking about when you say you’re an expert in tantric lovemaking? It seems you may
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Secrets of Who’s Who Under Those Head Coverings
As a Muslim woman I choose to wear a headscarf, known as the hijab, because it symbolizes the core beliefs and ethics of Islam that I hold close to my heart. Having said that, I’ve always known that the headscarf conceals identifying characteristics that allow people to recognize those of us who decide to wear the
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Your Sensuality & Sexuality: About Those Smells in the Lady Area
DEAR DEVI, I sometimes feel uncomfortable about having sex with my partner because of the way I smell “down there.” Is there anything I can do about the way my body smells? First, let me say that 99.9% of the women I know do feel – or have felt – uncomfortable with the way their
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When Black Isn’t Beautiful … And How Sexual Healing Told Me Otherwise
I learned from a very young age that black is not beautiful. I learned from all the childhood fairytales and Walt Disney stories which described the beautiful white princess with flowing blond hair, who was saved by the handsome white prince who instantly fell in love with her, enslaved by her fair beauty and silky
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Going Beyond What We Learned in the Back of a Chevy
The low point came several weeks before the couples’ workshop when Ron, my significant other, said he’d rather undergo root canal surgery. Or maybe it was a few days before we left for the workshop when he “joked” about getting prepared for “emotional waterboarding” (waterboarding being that infamous form of torture the U.S. military employs).
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