The low point came several weeks before the couples’ workshop when Ron, my significant other, said he’d rather undergo root canal surgery. Or maybe it was a few days before we left for the workshop when he “joked” about getting prepared for “emotional waterboarding” (waterboarding being that infamous form of torture the U.S. military employs).
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November 10, 2014A black girl’s first act of sorcery is to make herself disappear. I understood this when my father asked me to sit on his lap. He was in a wonderful mood that night. His baritone, a whiskey warmed song ripe with invitation. I remember wrapping my arms around myself, hands trying to gather in my
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August 2, 2014I am Detroit. My heart beats “Papa Was a Rollingstone”. I feel lost–displaced. Everyone tries to tell me what my story is. And I can’t get an accurate reflection of myself. Time Magazine tells me that I am ruin porn. CNN keeps telling me that I am bankrupt. 60 minutes says that I am corrupt.
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July 30, 2014Three dark energies have haunted me most of my childhood. They tiptoe behind me and whisper, “Poor little black girl”. Growing up in South LA, I was like all of my friends, raised in a single parent household. I was poor and black. So, I felt dispensable and invisible—I waited for the world to acknowledge
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May 28, 2014“I’VE GOT YOUR BACK, BECCA,” one of our Shetroit sisters soothingly whispered in my ear at the wrap-up of a recent gathering of Shetroiters. That’s our affectionate nickname for the Detroit women involved in this digital media endeavor known as Shetroit.com (rhymes with Detroit, of course). Her supportive words came following a bruising critique session
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January 2, 2014‘Noooooo!’ I mentally yelled in slow-motion. I imagined my arms stretched out in front of me, palms outward, pushing against the air … pushing him away. This young man was finishing one of the oddest comments a stranger had laid on me in a long time. “…I’ve watched Bridget the Midget porn. You know, out
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Couples Retreats and Root Canals – It’s All About Digging Deep
The Need to be Super Mommy … in a Wheelchair
BEST of SHETROIT … We ran Tameka’s story in 2012 after she had her FIRST-born Miles. We’re featuring it now on the occasion of her SECOND child, Naima, starting to walk … (GO Tameka!) I’m the type of young woman who always wanted a family. As a little girl, I played with baby dolls, feeding
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Racist Slurs Slung in the Classroom: Here’s How One Detroit Teacher Handles It
People often ask me if I get attacked for being a Muslim. Although I might get a racist/ethnic slur shouted at me every now and then, it is actually a rare occurrence. When it does happen, it usually takes me by surprise, and on a good day, my reaction will be to smile and ask
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“Mommy, Can I Be Made in Detroit if I’m White?”
I love living in Detroit and I want other people to know my sentiment. That’s why I’m inspired to use my kids as billboards to broadcast that. Most recently, I bought them t-shirts with the “Made in Detroit” logo. I merely wanted them to share my enthusiasm, but my 8-year-old daughter got a completely different
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“Accessible” Wedding Plans: Wheelchairs and All
This week, my partner, Ryan, and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary. After a year, I am happy to report that: a) I love being married and b) I’m glad I never have to go through the process of planning a wedding again! As with all big projects, planning our wedding was quite
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Warning: Learning to Flip Grown Men Can be Good For Your Health
I never imagined that I’d get into martial arts. In fact, as a teen, the thought of martial arts made me feel weird and angsty. I think it was a combination of having seen bad kung fu movies and having no concept of how martial arts could relate to my life whatsoever. I had no
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Your Sensuality & Sexuality: Learning Through a “Sex Play Date”
NOTE: This article contains explicit and graphic material that may make some people uncomfortable. Dear Devi, My partner and I are exploring oral sex. He feels clumsy and unsure and I’d really like some tips on how I can support and encourage him on his way to becoming a world class lover. After all, the
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Black Boys: Do Not Let Them Make You Small & Invisible
Over the Detroit skyline soars the light of a boy. The ‘not guilty’ verdict is a reminder that there are places that still cannot stomach his shadow. Freedom is earned: paid for with life, blood, rage and grief. Our children memorize the dates of American wars. Educators repeat those dates until July 4th tastes metallic
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It was Either Curling into a Fear Ball or Launching into Action (Guess What She Chose)
It was getting late – about 8pm last November. Varsity basketball practice had wrapped up and Detroiter Alyssia Akers couldn’t catch a ride home. So 18-year-old Alyssia (pronounced: A-lee-see-a) decided she didn’t have much choice and started walking the five miles home from Central High on Detroit’s Westside. What happened that night has shaped the
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What Trayvon Martin Means to Me & Should Mean to You, with LOVE from Detroit
One of Shetroit’s youngest bloggers, Shirley Bolden, wrote about Trayvon Martin at the time of his death last year. Now, following the George Zimmerman trial and verdict, her invitation rings with even stronger resolve … Initially, I labored over writing something about the Trayvon Martin tragedy. I was going to use cliches to explain what
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