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Couples Retreats and Root Canals – It’s All About Digging Deep

The low point came several weeks before the couples’ workshop when Ron, my significant other, said he’d rather undergo root canal surgery. Or maybe it was a few days before we left for the workshop when he “joked” about getting prepared for “emotional waterboarding” (waterboarding being that infamous form of torture the U.S. military employs). […]

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The Need to be Super Mommy … in a Wheelchair

BEST of SHETROIT … We ran Tameka’s story in 2012 after she had her FIRST-born Miles. We’re featuring it now on the occasion of her SECOND child, Naima, starting to walk … (GO Tameka!)   I’m the type of young woman who always wanted a family. As a little girl, I played with baby dolls, feeding […]

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How to Take Charge of Those Uncomfortable Moments When You’re Compared to a Porn Star

‘Noooooo!’ I mentally yelled in slow-motion. I imagined my arms stretched out in front of me, palms outward, pushing against the air … pushing him away. This young man was finishing one of the oddest comments a stranger had laid on me in a long time. “…I’ve watched Bridget the Midget porn. You know, out […]

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“Mommy, Can I Be Made in Detroit if I’m White?”

I love living in Detroit and I want other people to know my sentiment. That’s why I’m inspired to use my kids as billboards to broadcast that. Most recently, I bought them t-shirts with the “Made in Detroit” logo. I merely wanted them to share my enthusiasm, but my 8-year-old daughter got a completely different […]

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“Accessible” Wedding Plans: Wheelchairs and All

This week, my partner, Ryan, and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary.   After a year, I am happy to report that: a) I love being married and b) I’m glad I never have to go through the process of planning a wedding again! As with all big projects, planning our wedding was quite […]

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How Grandma Reacted When I Told Her I Was Gay

On one of my last visits to see my 90-year-old Grandma Pearly before she died, I decided to take the plunge and tell her I’m gay. I hold on to that complicated and intense conversation so dearly now.  It was a tough one for me because while I loved her deeply, we didn’t always get […]

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What They Don’t Tell You About Detroit

 “Sometimes you think you know what you’re looking at, and you actually have no idea.” -Sandra Simmons (Mama Sandra), Hush House, Detroit   I came to Detroit knowing very little about the city. What I did know was love, and I rested in the understanding that love was enough to take me anywhere. And what […]

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Your Sensuality & Sexuality: Learning Through a “Sex Play Date”

NOTE: This article contains explicit and graphic material that may make some people uncomfortable. Dear Devi, My partner and I are exploring oral sex. He feels clumsy and unsure and I’d really like some tips on how I can support and encourage him on his way to becoming a world class lover. After all, the […]

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Black Boys: Do Not Let Them Make You Small & Invisible

Over the Detroit skyline soars the light of a boy. The ‘not guilty’ verdict is a reminder that there are places that still cannot stomach his shadow. Freedom is earned: paid for with life, blood, rage and grief. Our children memorize the dates of American wars. Educators repeat those dates until July 4th tastes metallic […]

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What the Trayvon Tragedy Can Teach Us About Being White

A week like this hasn’t been an easy one for conducting ourselves in the work-a-day world while Trayvon’s soul calls us to think deeply and long about healing and justice. The Trayvon Martin case shows once again how white people and people of color live in very different universes. Many of my African American friends […]

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