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What the Trayvon Tragedy Can Teach Us About Being White

A week like this hasn’t been an easy one for conducting ourselves in the work-a-day world while Trayvon’s soul calls us to think deeply and long about healing and justice. The Trayvon Martin case shows once again how white people and people of color live in very different universes. Many of my African American friends […]

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Your Sensuality & Sexuality: How Do I Get Him to a Couples Workshop?

DEAR DEVI, I’d like to attend a couples workshop with my partner, but he essentially says ‘no’ whenever I suggest the idea. Without issuing an ultimatum (which I know is not a good idea), how do I communicate how important it is to me? There’s a part of me that’s really scared because I perceive […]

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The Push-Pull of Those Prickly, Yucky, Sucky Family Moments

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have the best relationship with my step-monster. Um, I mean step-mother. We are very different women who have been sharing a singular important man in our lives for over 15 years now. I hate living the stereotypical step-daughter/step-mother dynamic. But for us it’s been mostly drama, […]

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On Chanukah and Being Jewish in a Gentile World

It was the beginning of Chanukah, the eight-day festival that commemorates the victory of the Jews in the second century BCE over the Assyrian Greeks who had invaded the country. My family was not at all observant, but we always lit candles in the eight-branched menorah – one on the first day, two on the […]

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The Heart Rending Secrets of Our Children in the Shadows

I look at the stage where the panel of experts is sitting; each of them renown in their respective professional field. I see a college president, a university scholar, a state politician, an urban planning activist, a foundation president. And she is in the middle. Groomed and poised as the professional young woman she is […]

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How the World Series Healed My Heart

The Tigers lost. No secret to Detroiters and the rest of the world. I had the opportunity – the privilege – to cheer them to defeat at the 2012 World Series on Sunday night with my former lifetime partner and our children. And no surprise to most, we had a blast! But the privilege was […]

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How a Ticket Violation Screams “You Do Not Belong!”

The uniformed man handed him a ticket. Miguel Gomes lowered his sight to read it and coyly asked, “For not speaking English well, sir?” – with the hope that the police officer would not retaliate with something else. The eyes of the English class students listening to Miguel’s story in Southwest Detroit opened wide and […]

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10 Shortcuts to Falling in Love with Detroit

Nearly four years ago, my husband and I left the Detroit suburbs and made the move to the city. The kids were out of the house and we wanted to experience the diverse aspects of this intriguing urban setting. We consider it an adventure and were intent on committing to Detroit in a variety of […]

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How to Celebrate Mother’s Day Even When it Hurts

I get this knot in my stomach and wave of distraught when Mother’s Day rolls around each year. How do I celebrate in the face of having had lousy parenting? Odes to moms who inspired, supported, expanded, guided and embraced in unconditional love ooze from, well, everywhere … from friends talking about their Mother’s Day […]

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Taking Charge of Those Blanket Untruths About Detroit

Since I’ve moved to Detroit some of my family members and friends are hesitant to visit me – or flat out will not visit me. I grew up in East Dearborn. As a minority in the U.S. I never felt the part because I was surrounded with Arabs and Muslims who looked like me, spoke like […]

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